Our Mama Dioning

I really don't know why I am writing this, because I know she won't be able to read it. I don't even know if she still remembers me as one of her grandchildren. I hope so. I truly hope so. You see, she has dementia.  She is my grandmother, 78 years old, a native of Cabucgayan, Leyte. And I love her with all my heart.  Her name is Dionisia Mendoza Luna Calomot.   According to Wikipedia:

Dementia is a serious loss of global cognitive ability in a previously unimpaired person, beyond what might be expected from normal ageing. Although dementia is far more common in the geriatric population, it can occur before the age of 65, in which case it is termed "early onset dementia."

It started when she was 64. That time I was living with her. Despite being with her during my graduation rites. She kept asking me, when will I graduate from College. Even when I was working already, and will take her out for dinner,  she will ask   me that question. New information, events & other stuff after the age 64, don't go to her ''memory box'' at all. Before I went to Germany, I said my goodbyes and told her I'm going to get married here, she told me, that's good and that her daughters are also here and she had been here before. She gave me her blessing and I kissed her goodbye.

When I came home in 2010, she completely didn't recognize me. And then I told her ''I am Meme (my nickname) and she looked at me & said 'Meme, you are here' then asked me the same old question: ''When will you graduate from College?''

Nevertheless, despite the distance, she would always be in my thoughts. Remembering all the good memories we had with her. We technically grew up with her. We used to lived with her during our primary years. Her house is not so far from hers, so we visit her almost every week. Before going home, we would always drop by at her house, I used to make my homeworks at her house, let her help me with my sewing projects, go to Simbang-gabi masses, take her out for dinner when I started working, my brother & I were fortunate to come with her visit her hometown at Leyte, I remember during New Year's eve, we would jump with her,she would throw coins afterwards,  so that the grandchildren will happily scramble for those coins. Her skeptic look, when I asked her, if we can have her house as a Christmas Party venue with my friends. She would stay in her room, but would check us from time to time. And after every night out with my girlfriends, she will wake us up at 6.30 in the the morning, and blame us that we should be home earlier, her  'Paksiw'(Fish cooked with vinegar & ginger)  and tons of wonderful memories.

These are some of the many memories that I have here inside my heart. Memories that will be surely be cherished and kept, memories that I am hoping she would somehow remember. 

Mama Dioning, thank you for everything, I might not be able to say that to you personally, but like every single time before you sleep on your bed, you know that I never fail to kiss you under your mosquito net and say Goodnight Mama Dioning, I love you.