Happy memories with my Uncle Orlie

This blog had been the hardest blog to write. Comforting someone who lost a loved one had never been my ministry. I have to stop writing whenever it is too much for me. In a span of 5 years, I lost 3 great men in my life.
My grandfather, my father-in-law and recently my Uncle Orlie.
For my grandfather (age 80) and my father-in-law (age 71), who both lost the battle to cancer, death came as a release. I was prepared and I was able to say goodbye. Honestly, my acceptance was easier.

For my Uncle Orlie it was so sudden. Massive Heart Attack.  He was just 44. His kids are still so young and so was he.

This last week of May had not been easy for me. May 28, 2014, I received a message from my Aunt, that my mom telling her that my Uncle Orlie is gone. After that my sister called me too, minutes after I read the message, to inform me, she was crying and I was trying not to break down. I am on my 29th week and such dreadful news from Manila is not so good for my pregnancy. The news didn't sink in until I was praying alone.

I stayed calm while praying, praying repetitiously asking for a miracle and claiming God His promises, particulary His promise of long life. After praying for about an hour, the truth that I will never see my uncle physically hit me like a sharp knife and then I broke down. I was apologizing again and again to my baby, that I was crying so hard, it is because I love my Uncle Orlie. Kathrin comforted me by taking out pictures from Manila, I simply thanked her and embraced her tightly and continue to cry.

During the week, when the family and I were mourning, I purposely didn't call anyone from home except my brother, who was with my mom and my cousin, when they took my uncle to the hospital and my father just to check on my mom, I cannot find the courage to ask my mom, because I know we are not okay and will both burst into tears.

We all love him. He was simply a darling to everyone. He never fathered us, he was doing his job as an uncle at its best. He loves his family. He was a great father, an obedient son, a reliable brother, a loving husband, an awesome uncle, a trustworthy friend, an unbelievable colleague, a good man.

He gave the best advices. He was sweet, funny and ever helpful to everyone. He offered everyone his time, energy, his wonderful smile, he offered himself and made his lasting beautiful impression to anyone he met. 

Uncle Orlie with his wife Auntie Tina

With his siblings, Christmas 2013

With his family

                          

Always smiling

Always happy

With his mom, Mama Dioning and his brothers

When I was 9 years old, we went to Baguio, northern part of the Philippines, my uncle was already a working student by that time in a famous fast food chain in the Philippines, he showed us how to make some home-made fries and gravy. He involved us, even we were young. Noone was too young or too old for him. He always find and make time.

In the apartment in Baguio, where we stayed, my brother saw 3 white pigeons, he wanted it so badly, that my uncle got the three pigeons for him ( I'm sure he didn't buy it for my brother ), yet we went home with 3 white pigeons as house pet from that time on, he remained my brother's hero. He was our hero.

Taken in 1990, Baguio City

He would tell me stories, that my mom helped him, when he was younger, in school and he did excel too. He was intelligent and he was not bragging. While he was working at Jollibee-Alimall Branch, and when we would passby by the foodcourt, we would check if he is there working, and if he happens to be there, we would ask for hamburgers, which he gladly gives me and my sibling or a friend who was with me. I grew up happy because he was part of it, I grew knowing I am important. He made everybody important. He is ever interested in you not in himself. Like what I wrote, he made time for everyone. He made you important.

Here are some memories that I had with him:

• When I was in college, he would hand me some money, so I can buy my financial accounting books.
• He would tell me, when I am pissed off with my sister, to think of him, whenever I would have conflict with her and then I would just laugh, because we both know, I cannot be or never be angry at him.
• I conspired him and my other uncles to scare off a suitor, and my Uncle Orlie ended up breaking the ice, by giving him a bottle of beer.
• He would tip my friend's car plate number in his Lottery ticket and would whisper in my ears, ''do you think we have the chance to win the jackpot?''
• He took Michael (my husband) to  his in-laws family swimming party and promised me that we will take care of him. Michael has tonsilitis that time while I'm off to work.
• He gave me a fancy pendant on my 30th birthday in behalf of his family.
• He wrote me a comprehesive letter when I asked him about a Mother-Baby Cafe and I was so overwhelmed with his experience in the food and restaurant branch and so proud that I have such an uncle.

Ony brother's graduation.

Aunties' visit in 2006

On my birthday celebration, August 2010
   

2010 with my Calomot Uncles

 

When my Aunties would visit Manila

Confronted with his sudden death, my first question: Why him? Deep inside I knew how to answer this question, when I am not mourning, when this death was someelse's death. Yes, I am finding it hard to accept. While writing this blog I can't help but cry. So much memories, so much happiness, so much fun and learning, everytime when we are with him. 

I had been praying for acceptance right from the start. I told a good friend, when God would tell me why, I would shut up. If God would tell me, the reason why is...blah..blah...then I would stop and accept it.

God can feel my pain and He promised me the joy after mourning. My pain is nothing compared to my Auntie Tina, his wife, who lost him, as a partner, as a bestfriend, as a loving companion  and to my cousins, who lost their father, but still I am in pain and it is unbearable. 

Why him? The same question over and over again for the last 3 weeks, had been in my head. Somehow these situations have comforted me these past few days.

My mom wrote in her Timeline: 

''To my dearest Brother Orlie, words are enough to describe how painful it is to see you lying in that hospital bed , lifeless ....I know life will never be the same anymore.....the Why's will never be answered but by faith tells us to move on and continue trusting God of His Divine Will to our lives.....Rest in Peace Orlie...we will miss you ; we are grateful to the Lord for the 44 years you have spent with us..... Till we meet again!!''

My Auntie Estrella ( Sister of my Father) wrote me too: 

''Me...masakit tlaga.. ngaun kasama n syang ggabay syo...s lhat s kbilang buhay nkay LORD n sya. Tpos n ang mission nya d2 s mundo...

e-accept mo n pra gumaan ang feeling mo...mganda nman ang kanyang ppuntahan kay LORD...dahil alam nting npakabait nyang tao...'' 

(*Me, it really hurts, he belongs to the people who are with God, who will guide you, his mission on earth has been accomplished, accept it, so you'll feel better, the place that he went to with the Lord is beautiful, because he was a good man)

I can't say I am not resilient enough but I have to be honest that I am not yet there. I am still praying for acceptance, so I can finally let go and let God do His healing. 

I must admit that, my three consolations right now are:

1. That I was able to talked to him last year, when our houses in Manila were burned down and before we ended the call, I told him, I miss him and I love him.
2. That  because he is a good man he doesn't deserve to suffer and to get ill and 
3. that he accomplished his mission with flying colors, that God welcomed and embraced him saying, ''Well done my son, well done''

The promise of eternal life, seeing him again sooner or later, and that Heaven is a place beyond the word beautiful where no worries and suffering are present, have been lingering in my prayer time lately as the answer to my question as to why him. 

But for now I am still  brokenhearted and I am still refusing to give up those broken pieces and all I know that my connection between heaven and my Uncle are the memories we shared together. 

I love you Uncle Orlie. Sorry, but I find it hard to accept that you left us too soon. I will cherish the happy times. You will never be forgotten. I miss you so badly that it hurts.

Forming new habits.....Cooking ( Again, a super dooper late post)

*Just like the other blog, this was written last November 2013 on our way home from Fuerteventura

When it comes to cooking, well it is not my forte and when I decided to do the things I hate doing, I really made it a point that I would include cooking.

As a wife and a mother and a good housekeeper, it is quite expected that one should be good at cooking, but I lack skills on this part, or maybe it was just an excuse or again my previous way of thinking.

My father cooks well and my mom bakes, I can say I look to my mom than my papcy.He is simply good at it, I love his cooking too, and appreciate mouth watering meals. I am my papcy's assistant and I am in charge of the chopping. Well, I love being his assistant and I love to chop. Maybe that's the reason why I love sharp knives and the chopping part.

Since Michael loves to cook, I always have the excuse, not to be good at it-- I live by the saying too cooks spoil the broth. He is also afraid of sharp knives, so I took the liberty to play as the chopping assistant again, that's why I have my own sharp knives at home. Michael uses his sort of an all around knife ( which looks like a bread knife  to me), while I use mine.

This time I decided to cook more than usual, which is part of my resolutions for myself.
 I love salads so I started with it.  I would always experiment with fruits, cheese and the green ones. For a start, I combined salads and cooked a little, since my daughter loves meat and my husband cannot live on veggies alone, I looked for veggies that I like and started cooking it with various spices.

Suprisingly my husband started praising my cooking. Humbly saying thank you and saying since I have more time now, why not cook more, which I did. While we were on vacation, we cooked mostly fishes, not too much art on that and not much progress on my cooking but hopefully if my tempo gets better, I hope to impress not only my husband but my papcy and mother in law as well.


Update: ( 8. May 2014 ) We are back on the island again and not one but two praised my cooking. One is my super critical daughter and my loving husband. She told her papa to play with her because mommy can cook better than him. I simply smiled and thanked her for the compliment. The next day after cooking lunch, my husband me a kiss and told me...''Baby, you can cook better than me.'' This recognition from him was indeed well-earned. Hopefully, I can impress my mother-in-law sometime soon. hihihi!


What did I earned from all of these resolutions, trying to do things that I hate the most, whether it's jogging, washing the dishes and cooking, as long as you are willing to try new things, no one can stop you. Your motivation comes from within, of course there will be external factors, but still you are fully in charge with it.

Life is full of opportunities, grab these opportunities now or we might never be given the chance to do it. I learned a lot in forming new habits, I am happier and I feel accomplished. We are never too old to try new things, like I always write, life is a continuous learning, we should never feel old trying new adventures, meeting new friends, taking healthy risks,  learning a new skill/hobby and forming new habits. Afterall, life gives us back more than we expected. 

What are you waiting for??? Go start a new one!

Forming new habits....Washing Dishes ( A super dooper late post )

*This was written way back in November 2013 on a flight going home from Fuerteventura to Hannover. A lot of things happened from that month until now, that I ended up just posting it now.


Destiny has found a way to test my patience with the dishes. I simply hated it, just like jogging (or so I thought). Way back in Manila, when my siblings see me washing the dishes, they say jokingly, ''Wow, milagro, si Ate naghuhugas ng pinggan, papamisa ako bukas'' (Wow, it's a miracle, our eldest sister is washing the dishes, I will request a special thanksgiving mass tomorrow). That's how I hated it, even with a dishwasher now, I always cheat on my husband, so he ends up tidying it up.

While we were on Fuerteventura ( November 2013), the apartment we rented had no dishwasher. Half surprised I asked my husband, didn't you check? Anyways, no way back now and since we just arrived and we didn't want argue on such petty things,  but normally we usually look for apartments with a washing machine and a dishwasher because  these things for me are always a must.

Oh well then, we have to live with it. We told ourselves we will take turns and we stick to it. My husband having senstive hands bought a dishwashing liquid that has balsam whatever to protect his skin. Good thing I brought with me an extra washing brush. We took turns, so whoever cooks, s/he is responsible cleaning the pans and casseroles immediately after cooking.

My husband taught me this trick 6 years ago, the motto is strike while the iron is hot or should I rephrase it, wash them while the pans are hot, in that way, the grease is easily washed away and easier to clean when you clean it immediately.
Another trick is to wash with warm water with a little soap on it. Drying the dishes is the last part which I shared with my husband every now and then. What I learned from washing up the dishes is the value of avoiding PROCRASTINATION.

Since the chore itself is not so glamourous, we tend to procrastinate it, but if you do the simple little dirty things right at that moment, then the cleaning up afterwards is way much more easier. As clumsy as I am, whenever my husband and I are in the kitchen, I end up hitting or hurting him or myself, our experience on the island helped us to complement each other, even in this simple task. If you ask me, if I hate washing the dishes, my answer is a definite YES, yet I enjoyed it for the last 3 weeks since it proved me this time again that we can do the things that we hate, if we try. By the way, the running is still getting along.

I haven't been running everyday but I am proud to say that I am faster now.