My husband and I both work. He works full-time, I have the luxury to work part-time. We live in Wolfsburg, which is the 6th largest city in Lower Saxony German State, is 230 kilometers from the capital Berlin and and is famous for Volkswagen. The city offers a wide range of activities for families and their kids. In 2009 the city was awarded as most family-friendly city award in Lower Saxony. It is a relatively a small town compared to the big cities but I learned to love it here already.
Since it is a family-friendly city, I availed/went to prenatal classes, active-play meet ups, winter meet-ups, and many field trips to Phaeno (science exploration center in Wolfsburg), Badeland, Autostadt etc. I am totally impressed and happy that I was able to socialize with other moms, chat with friends while the kids are playing, Kathrin learning new kids and exerting her energies and at the end of the day--a dead-tired sleepy kid.
Since it is a family-friendly city, I availed/went to prenatal classes, active-play meet ups, winter meet-ups, and many field trips to Phaeno (science exploration center in Wolfsburg), Badeland, Autostadt etc. I am totally impressed and happy that I was able to socialize with other moms, chat with friends while the kids are playing, Kathrin learning new kids and exerting her energies and at the end of the day--a dead-tired sleepy kid.
With all the range of activities supplied by the government and other entities from day-nannies, sports, music classes, play-groups, whole-day child care support in kindergarten particularly for single moms and other animations, which are very helpful. Now working and totally dependent from Kindergarten assistance offered in the morning, it made me think and reassess my priorities.
My daughter is still in her formative years and we believe that it is our responsibility to form her, to prepare her emotionally and to guide her. I am not saying that I am giving up some things, or purely stay home, so I can monitor her, but it is a reminder for me to strive harder, to focus on shaping her values and proper upbringing. Even it if means to joggle my family, work, social life, and other activities. But mind you it is challenging and it is a skill!
Based from my own observation: You can correct me if I am wrong.
The government is being compelled to create more slots for the day care center, set up more whole-day kindergarten & grade-school. But what is the cost of these measures? Is the government offering too much because parents (sometimes I must admit) are often helpless? Or rather no interest? Are more and more parents unable to cope with their child's demand and over-strained?
One time we went sledging. Michael had a conversation with an old gentleman, my husband that it would be nice after sledging downhill if there is a lift available.. The old gentleman with his grandsons, simply told Michael ''Why? The kids should learn to push themselves to go uphill again''. WOW! That's what you call wisdom. It made my husband realized that children also needs to push themselves and sometimes learn the hard way in order to learn, to become independent, to be own their own, thus developing & molding their personalities and character. And the same thing with parents. It is also hard work.
Another thing: To some they think, women doesn't belong to the corporate world, it is bad time management when they didn't meet deadlines, quotas & targets, but how about then the kids get sick, do you still call it bad time management?
The society demands more mothers to work, by putting up more nursery slots for kids. Sometimes I ask myself, why? Instead of offering women flexibility in their working places like home offices & the like, they are encourage to work earlier after birth. Why are mothers encourage to work, encourage to have children, to increase birth rates, when the government cannot even offer them flexibility and let them be a mother to her child. The pressure of the society to achieve more, produce more & have more, is often one sided. More and more women are scared to loose their jobs, thus choosing career than having children.
I know the working world is tough, that is the same reason why we need more mothers to have flexibility in their jobs, so they can continue to teach their kids proper values & etiquette and give them proper upbringing, which are taught at home. Certain values should be taught by parents, preschool teachers complement and encourage these values. It is not their responsibility to shoulder. Teachers nowadays have the same dilemma. And when they reprimand school kids, they are being terrorized by the parents. It is alarming to think that the family values are slowly degrading.
Why do we have arrogant, proud, egoistic top managers in the corporate world? Well, values are taught at home not in MBA schools.
One last thing: We ought to make milestones with our children.
Well I stayed almost 4 years before I started to work again, ( again I had this kind of luxury ) and I can perfectly understand single moms who need to work. For one, I enjoyed being there for Kathrin. Because I saw my daughter's development. I noted her improvements. It still makes me proud that I can answer at which age my daughter started doing this & doing that. These are precious moments and these are priceless. And call me selfish, but I cannot imagine myself asking a nursery carer, when did my child started running or talking or these little milestones, I ought to be the first one to know.
I for one am not a fan of whole day Kindergarten or Gradeschool. And believe me I am not a part of the Mom-mafia. We drop her at KG at 8am and I pick her up at 13:20 in the afternoon. When Kathrin sees me coming, she would complain that I fetch her too early. My goodness kid! We need our playtime too! I know, I can never offer her the experience playing with other kids but still I am entitled to ask how did her day went.
I know the working world is tough, that is the same reason why we need more mothers to have flexibility in their jobs, so they can continue to teach their kids proper values & etiquette and give them proper upbringing, which are taught at home. Certain values should be taught by parents, preschool teachers complement and encourage these values. It is not their responsibility to shoulder. Teachers nowadays have the same dilemma. And when they reprimand school kids, they are being terrorized by the parents. It is alarming to think that the family values are slowly degrading.
Why do we have arrogant, proud, egoistic top managers in the corporate world? Well, values are taught at home not in MBA schools.
One last thing: We ought to make milestones with our children.
Well I stayed almost 4 years before I started to work again, ( again I had this kind of luxury ) and I can perfectly understand single moms who need to work. For one, I enjoyed being there for Kathrin. Because I saw my daughter's development. I noted her improvements. It still makes me proud that I can answer at which age my daughter started doing this & doing that. These are precious moments and these are priceless. And call me selfish, but I cannot imagine myself asking a nursery carer, when did my child started running or talking or these little milestones, I ought to be the first one to know.
I for one am not a fan of whole day Kindergarten or Gradeschool. And believe me I am not a part of the Mom-mafia. We drop her at KG at 8am and I pick her up at 13:20 in the afternoon. When Kathrin sees me coming, she would complain that I fetch her too early. My goodness kid! We need our playtime too! I know, I can never offer her the experience playing with other kids but still I am entitled to ask how did her day went.
It is indeed tiring with all the meet ups here and there, or bringing the kids to the gym or to the music school, dance lessons or ballet classes, sometimes I just want to sit down & read a book but that is another luxury. But isn't it great to be there for your child/children when they create there own stories, their own milestones, that our children knows that we parents are there for them. This certain security that a child feels that ''my parents are always there for me'' is something that is important to their development and something that is inherent that they will carry it for the rest of their lives.
Yes it is a tough world but do we need to be tough on our kids too?
Yes it is a tough world but do we need to be tough on our kids too?
