2015....2016 Better late than never...

This is so late but here it is anyways....

Hello!!! It has been a busy 2015 for me and for those who have been patiently been waiting or lost patience already... I am glad to say I am back writing. I have so my reasons why I made a pause writing but let me share you the highlights of the past year.

I made resolutions and did a quite few...

1. I only bought things that I needed throughout the year and it was so liberating. The experience made me realized that less is more and we don't need too much material things to make us happy. It was tough at first but in the long run, I got used to it. It is nothing to do being so frugal but setting priorities and one of my main reasons why is to decrease my buying consumption on...

Books

Since I love to read and love the resolution I made...I started to borrow books from the library, it saves me alot of money and SPACE too. The city library in my town is a heaven for me and my kids, we borrow now on a regular basis books, board games, Blu-ray films and dvds.

Online Shopping
Whenever I have the urge to buy something online, I put in first in a wish list and just leave it there, after a few times, checking it and weighing if the those things are my 'wants' vs. my 'needs'...I end up buying just the things that I need and not the impulse stuff. The less stuff the better. It totally worked out for me.

Sewing Materials
I am a fabric hoarder! I bought fabrics to hoard, with the challenge I placed upon myself, I needed to be consistent. So avoided my favorite fabric online shop and use the fabrics I still have. I sewed and upcycled scraps and even gave it as gifts. I am so proud of myself that I was able to minimize my costs by using my available fabrics and the best part I started sewing fabrics that I love and made me happy and other people too.

I stopped collecting stuff
This is something personal but it is  the same way as liberating as other resolutions. I used to collect momiji dolls, these tiny dolls could make one addictive. Oh I am so guilty! But when my uncle died last 2014, I realized that when we leave people behind, the memories and the love remain. Simple as that. So instead of collecting more, I stopped buying,  sold some of them and concentrated on collecting memories. Which saves me money and makes me more than a happy person.

Make and collect memories, from loved ones, from friends, from people. Relationsips make us richer not material stuff.

2. I started another new hobby. Aside from sewing, I started to paint mid- 2015 and I am enjoying every single time I paint or draw. This made me realized that we are never too old to try something new.  Being a perfectionist, I have been very afraid to paint, simply because, I wanted it to be perfect....hello Merril!! Painting or drawing takes a lot of practice and patience unless you are a prodigy! And so I started doing it. A hawaiian artist, Rebecca Snow would give me tips on how to do it. She is such an angel! You can also visit her blogspot, here is her link. * I love her artworks, I have a few of her originals and prints. To make my story short, I love every single time I paint, it is like jogging, the releases the stress away and keeps your mind free and flowing.

Lesson of the story...Fear is just a mindset. Fear cripples us. So why fear...life is too short to be afraid.

3. I finally made time to learn few basic Spanish phrases, so whenever I order in a restaurant or buy something, I can speak Spanish and try to speak and chat with the locals. We go on vacation twice a year on a spanish island and so I was so happy speaking in Spanish to a lady telling her to cut off the head of the fish and please clean it too. Hahaha! Dos Lubinas sin Cabeza y entera por favor! Gracias!

Again we are never too old to learn and feed our minds with new stuff.

4. I took time to make gifts to friends, acquaintances. Like I wrote, I only bought things I needed. When some of my friends' birthday is coming up, I would take and make time to sew or paint something personal as a gift. I now go by the motto, if I have a gift that can make people happy by giving hand-made or hand-painted, then I should do it. I used scrap textiles and made Christmas ornaments, so my daughter can give it to her classmates. I painted personal gifts for birthdays, for a birth of a child, sewed bags as a birthday gift. Don't you just love it, when you receive a personal gift that was made personally and was not commercially bought?

The most beautiful gift we can give to our friends is our time.  Make time to make things more personal.

5. I finally  enrolled to a course again, to let me mind stay on track and keep focused on the things I started. Being a mom to a 7 year old and a 1 year daughters , I am constantly  interrupted,  ( I am being interrupted right now for the 4th time) although I learned the art of being flexible, enrolling myself in a course makes me just focus on the lessons to be read, to written and to be submitted.

Life is an unending learning process. Keep learning.

6. I started this year to personally call friends to say hello and ask how  they were. With all the internet platforms we have, a viber or  WhatsApp message makes all easier but also unpersonal. I made sure that this year, I would call a friend, a sister, an aunt...just to say hello. Writing and sending snail mails are what I have been doing too. But I still have a list of people I need to write or call often.

Relationships keep us all grounded. Invest on it wisely.

7. I joined a Choir and gave me an opportunity to meet  and gain a few new acquaintances. I have always love to sing but hates to sing alone, so being in a choir totally works out for me.  The choir practices allows me to bring my 1 year old, who behaves well in front of people and such a mischief at home so I am loving it. I always look forward to sings every Thursdays since Rieki transforms into an angel and on special occasions we sing before audiences. My 7 year old daughter is my biggest fan, who is also sings in a school choir.

He who sings well praise twice -- St. Augustine

8. Learn an instrument. Never too old to learn new things. I started to play ......tada....the Ukelele.... I tried to play a guitar when I was in highschool, but since my hands are quite small and my fingers are...oh well...short....I gave up trying.... Hihihi.😊 Ukelele is actually fun, and perfect for my quite short fingers, most of all it makes me happy that I just simply did it. My father who can play the guitar and sing too, with my mom's ever loving encouragement inspired me to try playing an instrument. Tada...hoping to play more songs this year.

Music always warms the heart.

9.  I faced my fear of skating on ice. Either I was always looking for excuses not to do this to myself or I am so scared to fall on my bum. Kathrin, my daughter, who loves to skate on ice, compelled me to do it, showing her that I will make time and the effort, so we both can have fun on ice. So I asked my husband to buy me a pair of ice skates and we hit the ice the next day. I just for a start, I did great.

Again, fear is just a mindset.

10.  Lastly despite loss, bitterness, exhaustion and negativity, I continue to and will continue to stay positive and happy. Happiness not coming from material things is something people cannot take away from me. Thanking God, my husband, my daugters, my family, relatives and friend for good 2015.

So there...Indeed 2015 was a blast for me. Looking forward to a wonderful 2016. I am grateful.

Hurra das Baby ist da Part 2

BIRTH PREPARATIONS AND OTHER STUFF

And so we were so happy when I got pregnant and made the necessary changes at home. I also prepared myself physically and mentally. My pain tolerance is so low, that the labor pains are freaking me out. I called my midwife 4 months before my due date, so I would have a head start. I did the pre-natal course way back, but this time my midwife told me, enjoy your pregancy, and don't let yourself get stressed from schedules. She lend me a book about Hypnobirthing and it changed my perspective on pregnancy and how I will handle my second pregnancy.

I am a rebel when it comes to medicines and hospital routines, and German hospitals are routine-wise very efficient. They will offer you a wide range of pain killers. This time I decided against it. No pain killers, no epiduralanaesthesia etc.. 

The woman's body (when healthy) is beautiful made to endure and overcome labor pains and childbirth itself. 

And so I was hypnotizing myself that I can endure that kind of pain. Of course the breathing techniques helped me too and some exercises.  I told Michael that I don't want an Epiduralanaesthesia and especially ocytocic. That he need to watch out that my wishes would be done, even when I am in such pain  or in delirium that I would suddenly demand for the epidural. When we went to the delivery/labor room, I told the facilitating midwife, that I wanted a natural birth,possibly a water birth,  which surprised her, because it is practically uncommon not to ask for an epidural. She asked me, where did I get this idea. I insisted that this time I will do this naturally ( the pain was still tolerable that time) and the woman body can endure such pain. She respected my decision. I was still psyching myself up that I decide what is good for my body and that I am healthy and my baby too. So we are going to surpass the pain.

When the crowning started, I was already in delirium, the pain was so intense that I was in doubt if I can do it. Maybe I should get the Epidural. But my husband was supporting and encouraging me yet still firm up to the very end (love him for that again), he even told me, you can do this. Your labor pains were not like the pain when we you Kathrin. And with that, in a matter of a few hours we had Henrie without the epidural and the doctor didn't need to stitch me up. ( I am so lucky this time.)

The nurses, doctors and I were all happy that I gave birth without any complications ( it just took us 3 1/2 hours ), I had my milk already, Henrie drinks like a champ, had my Stuhlgang the next day and I am fit in no time. One nurse told me when I was thanking them and was saying goodbye , "Frau Weber, you don't need to thank us, we did not do anything for you, you and your baby were so fit and healthy, you did almost everything yourself and for the baby." 

Indeed it is a mindset. When one mentally thinks, everything will turn out as it is, then it will. Just like my experience on my 2nd childbirth. I am thankful, that everything until now, still turns out wonderfully and positively. 

Hmmm.....next mindset would definitely be bigger..winks.

Hurra, unser Baby ist da (Part 1)

14 August 2014

14:46

3370g

53cm

Henrieke Nani Weber, our beautiful baby girl was out in a matter of 3 1/2 hours.

Prounounced as Hen-ri-ka...nicknamed as Henrie or Rieki.

3 days to go and we will survive the first month with flying colors. Flying colors I say, because the first 2 weeks, Kathrin and I managed to get into a new schedule with her baby sister while Papa worked. (Adrenaline at its finest ). Of course, Papa did great with cleaning the house and is responsible for buying groceries. I love my husband for that. 

Henrie is sleeping right now at Kathrin's room, while Kathrin listens to her Audio book and sitting beside Henrie I am writing this blog. A luxury of time and time management, I must say. I am no wonder woman, believe me, I have been trying the whole day to sew something for Kathrin, no chance at all and I have been wanting to write, well I need to hurry up.

The third week was quite challenging, because Kathrin is at school for a 1st grader school dry-run as preparation for her big school day on the 15th of September and there are tons of things to do. Although Henrie sleeps quite a lot, which helps me, I have to finish the chores, namely the laundry, the dishes, sterilize the bottles, tidy of the mess, plus pump extra milk for her, eat breakfast, or brunch or lunch in between and take a shower when it permits, by 14H, pick up Kathrin and in between these chores, I have to change Henrie's diapers, feed her, put her to sleep, sing a lullaby and somehow loose my sanity in between and forget the sense of time, my social life is with my kids and I now asking myself, is this worth giving up the freedom that I had with Kathrin? 

YES! Being a mom 2nd time around is a wonderful thing! (Yawn) 

When my husband and I decided to have a second baby, I did asked myself more than a hundred times, if I am ready to give up my life again and start the whole program all over again--meaning sleepless nights, eyebags, 6-8 hours of sleep ( I sleep an average of 10-11 hours ), get peed, get pooped, get pucked, limit our vacations ( which means go local again) and all other perks of being a parent second time around?

Yes I was willing to do it again. I was ready for it. 

Let's backtrack things first, I remember telling Michael, when we had Kathrin, I firmly told him, one is enough. Because I or we have to do everything here all by myself/ourselves, there are no helpers, no relatives to help me/us. Somehow we survived and things went smoothly most especially when Kathrin entered Kindergarten. Vacations were lovely. What made me decide to have another child again was Kathrin. 

First, so she won't be alone. 

Second, we wanted her to experience having a sister or a brother, since Michael and I have siblings. I have 5 and Michael has 1. 

Third, we wanted her to have someone she can confide her personal problems without judging her. Fourth, Kathrin's character suits well for a big sister. 

And lastly, she fervently prayed for it for 2 years. 

To tell you honestly, I wanted to be egoistic and enjoy that kind of freedom.  I was hesitant about the idea of having a second child ( please don't get me wrong, if you are a mom of one, who decides to stick to one child, I don't blame you at all. I know and I am not saying you are egostic), but Kathrin asked me when she was four years old, why can't she have a sibling just like her friends in Kindergarten, I told her, are her bestfriends not enough. 

Her answer made me speechless and I will never forget her answer. "Mama, what if you and Papa die, then I will be alone, Oma ( grandmother ) is old. I don't want to be alone." I cannot argue anymore. Such wisdom from a 4-year old is non-debattable. A slap on my face. Colder than the ice bucket challenge. True enough now that Henrie is out, I fell in love with her. My joy as a mother cannot be described with words. Pure Emotions.  My love multiplies for my daughters. There are lots of chores to do, less sleep but we are so happy. Kathrin could never be happier. Simply overflowing happiness.♡♥♡

I am happy and so glad that I have chosen Henrie/Rieki over freedom. I am grateful, that despite the fact that I love to sleep and couldn't get an eight-hour straight sleep, I decided for her. My daughters complete me, Henrie completed me once again. 

*For errors and incoherence pardon me...I am 3-4 hours short of my 11 hour daily sleep. 

This was written 2 days ago. I was able to upload it just now and made some corrections.

Happy memories with my Uncle Orlie

This blog had been the hardest blog to write. Comforting someone who lost a loved one had never been my ministry. I have to stop writing whenever it is too much for me. In a span of 5 years, I lost 3 great men in my life.
My grandfather, my father-in-law and recently my Uncle Orlie.
For my grandfather (age 80) and my father-in-law (age 71), who both lost the battle to cancer, death came as a release. I was prepared and I was able to say goodbye. Honestly, my acceptance was easier.

For my Uncle Orlie it was so sudden. Massive Heart Attack.  He was just 44. His kids are still so young and so was he.

This last week of May had not been easy for me. May 28, 2014, I received a message from my Aunt, that my mom telling her that my Uncle Orlie is gone. After that my sister called me too, minutes after I read the message, to inform me, she was crying and I was trying not to break down. I am on my 29th week and such dreadful news from Manila is not so good for my pregnancy. The news didn't sink in until I was praying alone.

I stayed calm while praying, praying repetitiously asking for a miracle and claiming God His promises, particulary His promise of long life. After praying for about an hour, the truth that I will never see my uncle physically hit me like a sharp knife and then I broke down. I was apologizing again and again to my baby, that I was crying so hard, it is because I love my Uncle Orlie. Kathrin comforted me by taking out pictures from Manila, I simply thanked her and embraced her tightly and continue to cry.

During the week, when the family and I were mourning, I purposely didn't call anyone from home except my brother, who was with my mom and my cousin, when they took my uncle to the hospital and my father just to check on my mom, I cannot find the courage to ask my mom, because I know we are not okay and will both burst into tears.

We all love him. He was simply a darling to everyone. He never fathered us, he was doing his job as an uncle at its best. He loves his family. He was a great father, an obedient son, a reliable brother, a loving husband, an awesome uncle, a trustworthy friend, an unbelievable colleague, a good man.

He gave the best advices. He was sweet, funny and ever helpful to everyone. He offered everyone his time, energy, his wonderful smile, he offered himself and made his lasting beautiful impression to anyone he met. 

Uncle Orlie with his wife Auntie Tina

With his siblings, Christmas 2013

With his family

                          

Always smiling

Always happy

With his mom, Mama Dioning and his brothers

When I was 9 years old, we went to Baguio, northern part of the Philippines, my uncle was already a working student by that time in a famous fast food chain in the Philippines, he showed us how to make some home-made fries and gravy. He involved us, even we were young. Noone was too young or too old for him. He always find and make time.

In the apartment in Baguio, where we stayed, my brother saw 3 white pigeons, he wanted it so badly, that my uncle got the three pigeons for him ( I'm sure he didn't buy it for my brother ), yet we went home with 3 white pigeons as house pet from that time on, he remained my brother's hero. He was our hero.

Taken in 1990, Baguio City

He would tell me stories, that my mom helped him, when he was younger, in school and he did excel too. He was intelligent and he was not bragging. While he was working at Jollibee-Alimall Branch, and when we would passby by the foodcourt, we would check if he is there working, and if he happens to be there, we would ask for hamburgers, which he gladly gives me and my sibling or a friend who was with me. I grew up happy because he was part of it, I grew knowing I am important. He made everybody important. He is ever interested in you not in himself. Like what I wrote, he made time for everyone. He made you important.

Here are some memories that I had with him:

• When I was in college, he would hand me some money, so I can buy my financial accounting books.
• He would tell me, when I am pissed off with my sister, to think of him, whenever I would have conflict with her and then I would just laugh, because we both know, I cannot be or never be angry at him.
• I conspired him and my other uncles to scare off a suitor, and my Uncle Orlie ended up breaking the ice, by giving him a bottle of beer.
• He would tip my friend's car plate number in his Lottery ticket and would whisper in my ears, ''do you think we have the chance to win the jackpot?''
• He took Michael (my husband) to  his in-laws family swimming party and promised me that we will take care of him. Michael has tonsilitis that time while I'm off to work.
• He gave me a fancy pendant on my 30th birthday in behalf of his family.
• He wrote me a comprehesive letter when I asked him about a Mother-Baby Cafe and I was so overwhelmed with his experience in the food and restaurant branch and so proud that I have such an uncle.

Ony brother's graduation.

Aunties' visit in 2006

On my birthday celebration, August 2010
   

2010 with my Calomot Uncles

 

When my Aunties would visit Manila

Confronted with his sudden death, my first question: Why him? Deep inside I knew how to answer this question, when I am not mourning, when this death was someelse's death. Yes, I am finding it hard to accept. While writing this blog I can't help but cry. So much memories, so much happiness, so much fun and learning, everytime when we are with him. 

I had been praying for acceptance right from the start. I told a good friend, when God would tell me why, I would shut up. If God would tell me, the reason why is...blah..blah...then I would stop and accept it.

God can feel my pain and He promised me the joy after mourning. My pain is nothing compared to my Auntie Tina, his wife, who lost him, as a partner, as a bestfriend, as a loving companion  and to my cousins, who lost their father, but still I am in pain and it is unbearable. 

Why him? The same question over and over again for the last 3 weeks, had been in my head. Somehow these situations have comforted me these past few days.

My mom wrote in her Timeline: 

''To my dearest Brother Orlie, words are enough to describe how painful it is to see you lying in that hospital bed , lifeless ....I know life will never be the same anymore.....the Why's will never be answered but by faith tells us to move on and continue trusting God of His Divine Will to our lives.....Rest in Peace Orlie...we will miss you ; we are grateful to the Lord for the 44 years you have spent with us..... Till we meet again!!''

My Auntie Estrella ( Sister of my Father) wrote me too: 

''Me...masakit tlaga.. ngaun kasama n syang ggabay syo...s lhat s kbilang buhay nkay LORD n sya. Tpos n ang mission nya d2 s mundo...

e-accept mo n pra gumaan ang feeling mo...mganda nman ang kanyang ppuntahan kay LORD...dahil alam nting npakabait nyang tao...'' 

(*Me, it really hurts, he belongs to the people who are with God, who will guide you, his mission on earth has been accomplished, accept it, so you'll feel better, the place that he went to with the Lord is beautiful, because he was a good man)

I can't say I am not resilient enough but I have to be honest that I am not yet there. I am still praying for acceptance, so I can finally let go and let God do His healing. 

I must admit that, my three consolations right now are:

1. That I was able to talked to him last year, when our houses in Manila were burned down and before we ended the call, I told him, I miss him and I love him.
2. That  because he is a good man he doesn't deserve to suffer and to get ill and 
3. that he accomplished his mission with flying colors, that God welcomed and embraced him saying, ''Well done my son, well done''

The promise of eternal life, seeing him again sooner or later, and that Heaven is a place beyond the word beautiful where no worries and suffering are present, have been lingering in my prayer time lately as the answer to my question as to why him. 

But for now I am still  brokenhearted and I am still refusing to give up those broken pieces and all I know that my connection between heaven and my Uncle are the memories we shared together. 

I love you Uncle Orlie. Sorry, but I find it hard to accept that you left us too soon. I will cherish the happy times. You will never be forgotten. I miss you so badly that it hurts.

Forming new habits.....Cooking ( Again, a super dooper late post)

*Just like the other blog, this was written last November 2013 on our way home from Fuerteventura

When it comes to cooking, well it is not my forte and when I decided to do the things I hate doing, I really made it a point that I would include cooking.

As a wife and a mother and a good housekeeper, it is quite expected that one should be good at cooking, but I lack skills on this part, or maybe it was just an excuse or again my previous way of thinking.

My father cooks well and my mom bakes, I can say I look to my mom than my papcy.He is simply good at it, I love his cooking too, and appreciate mouth watering meals. I am my papcy's assistant and I am in charge of the chopping. Well, I love being his assistant and I love to chop. Maybe that's the reason why I love sharp knives and the chopping part.

Since Michael loves to cook, I always have the excuse, not to be good at it-- I live by the saying too cooks spoil the broth. He is also afraid of sharp knives, so I took the liberty to play as the chopping assistant again, that's why I have my own sharp knives at home. Michael uses his sort of an all around knife ( which looks like a bread knife  to me), while I use mine.

This time I decided to cook more than usual, which is part of my resolutions for myself.
 I love salads so I started with it.  I would always experiment with fruits, cheese and the green ones. For a start, I combined salads and cooked a little, since my daughter loves meat and my husband cannot live on veggies alone, I looked for veggies that I like and started cooking it with various spices.

Suprisingly my husband started praising my cooking. Humbly saying thank you and saying since I have more time now, why not cook more, which I did. While we were on vacation, we cooked mostly fishes, not too much art on that and not much progress on my cooking but hopefully if my tempo gets better, I hope to impress not only my husband but my papcy and mother in law as well.


Update: ( 8. May 2014 ) We are back on the island again and not one but two praised my cooking. One is my super critical daughter and my loving husband. She told her papa to play with her because mommy can cook better than him. I simply smiled and thanked her for the compliment. The next day after cooking lunch, my husband me a kiss and told me...''Baby, you can cook better than me.'' This recognition from him was indeed well-earned. Hopefully, I can impress my mother-in-law sometime soon. hihihi!


What did I earned from all of these resolutions, trying to do things that I hate the most, whether it's jogging, washing the dishes and cooking, as long as you are willing to try new things, no one can stop you. Your motivation comes from within, of course there will be external factors, but still you are fully in charge with it.

Life is full of opportunities, grab these opportunities now or we might never be given the chance to do it. I learned a lot in forming new habits, I am happier and I feel accomplished. We are never too old to try new things, like I always write, life is a continuous learning, we should never feel old trying new adventures, meeting new friends, taking healthy risks,  learning a new skill/hobby and forming new habits. Afterall, life gives us back more than we expected. 

What are you waiting for??? Go start a new one!

Forming new habits....Washing Dishes ( A super dooper late post )

*This was written way back in November 2013 on a flight going home from Fuerteventura to Hannover. A lot of things happened from that month until now, that I ended up just posting it now.


Destiny has found a way to test my patience with the dishes. I simply hated it, just like jogging (or so I thought). Way back in Manila, when my siblings see me washing the dishes, they say jokingly, ''Wow, milagro, si Ate naghuhugas ng pinggan, papamisa ako bukas'' (Wow, it's a miracle, our eldest sister is washing the dishes, I will request a special thanksgiving mass tomorrow). That's how I hated it, even with a dishwasher now, I always cheat on my husband, so he ends up tidying it up.

While we were on Fuerteventura ( November 2013), the apartment we rented had no dishwasher. Half surprised I asked my husband, didn't you check? Anyways, no way back now and since we just arrived and we didn't want argue on such petty things,  but normally we usually look for apartments with a washing machine and a dishwasher because  these things for me are always a must.

Oh well then, we have to live with it. We told ourselves we will take turns and we stick to it. My husband having senstive hands bought a dishwashing liquid that has balsam whatever to protect his skin. Good thing I brought with me an extra washing brush. We took turns, so whoever cooks, s/he is responsible cleaning the pans and casseroles immediately after cooking.

My husband taught me this trick 6 years ago, the motto is strike while the iron is hot or should I rephrase it, wash them while the pans are hot, in that way, the grease is easily washed away and easier to clean when you clean it immediately.
Another trick is to wash with warm water with a little soap on it. Drying the dishes is the last part which I shared with my husband every now and then. What I learned from washing up the dishes is the value of avoiding PROCRASTINATION.

Since the chore itself is not so glamourous, we tend to procrastinate it, but if you do the simple little dirty things right at that moment, then the cleaning up afterwards is way much more easier. As clumsy as I am, whenever my husband and I are in the kitchen, I end up hitting or hurting him or myself, our experience on the island helped us to complement each other, even in this simple task. If you ask me, if I hate washing the dishes, my answer is a definite YES, yet I enjoyed it for the last 3 weeks since it proved me this time again that we can do the things that we hate, if we try. By the way, the running is still getting along.

I haven't been running everyday but I am proud to say that I am faster now.

Forming new habits

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon turned psychologist wrote that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, on my personal opinion, apart from the 21 days, your attitude towards the habit-forming activities plays a crucial role in achieving a new habit.

6 weeks ago, I decided to make an effort, hmm... actually to try and do the things I hate. These were the following:

1. Jogging/Running
2. Tidying up the dishwasher
3. Cooking

Since I got plenty of time right now, I decided to challenge myself and set my mind to do things that I am not usually motivated to do.

Jogging/Running

I am quite a good swimmer, and when someone asks me, if I would like to run with her/him, I always make an excuse, because first and foremost, I hate it, second, my knees are weak ( always the safest excuse of all time--health issues ) and third it's too boring (for me at least).  I can't remember an instance in my adult life that I ran. Well, it was just a mindset, or should I say,  it WAS my mindset. I set my mind that I will not do it and I never did.

My first run was round about 30 minutes, I am guessing that was about 1.5km, mind you, it was so painful after 20 mins that my knees were shaking and my lungs were about to burst, then I just walked for the last 10 minutes. Well, the next day, I was struggling to walk properly, that I even told my good German friend, Susanne, that, it was like I lost my virginity (sorry for the expression). She replied by saying ''That painful?''
Oh well I guess first time!
The next day, I ran again just to shake the pain off. And then it got better and better and better. Two days ago I hit my first almost 8 kilometer run (7.94km) and I took me 1 hour and 9 mins. Oh I run like a turtle. Hihihi!

Of course there are advantages and disadvantages of Running, but let me concentrate on the positive side (at least for me, since I am new with the sport)

• It clears my mind and organize my day - Women always make a mental list of almost everything. From getting up to bringing kids to school, to washing the laundry etc.. While I am running, it clears my mind from the many lists of anxiety, worry, frustrations and fear of the unknown. It empties out all the mind clutter that I have. After clearing my mind, it is easier for me make a daily 'objective' list (women and lists) easier to organize and plan my day. I call it effective daily planning.
• It motivates me to wake me up earlier than usual - I think, when Sandman sprinkles his magical sand to send children to sleep, he left too much sand on my eyelids because I love to sleep ( I think most women do, (but of course there are exceptions) but since I am a morning runner, I make sure that I am finished running by 9:30. So I need to move my ass around to bring my daughter to Kindergarten, clean up a bit the kitchen and just go!
• It is sets my mind to finish a goal - Every run is different from another, either your best one or a lazy long run, it varies every time, especially right now, it is getting colder, then I need to wear handgloves and my fleece bonnet during my runs. Whether a good run or not, when you started it, you finish it. You just can't stop and say ''okay I'll walk back''. For me, the rule is simple - starting line and finish line. When you feel tired or your energy is getting low, you slow down but you don't stop. There are things in life that you need to slow down too right but stoping is not an option. Finishing what you started is indeed a fulfilment.
• Happy hormones kicks in - The cold November is sometimes depressing especially when there's no sunshine. Running keeps me warm and happy, since endorphins help a person feel good about her/himself. I love it when I am sweating, I feel like younger, all too sweaty from sports, I simply feel accomplished.
• It tones my lower body - Although I am not really a hardcore runner, I noticed my thighs and legs look better. Happy me!

 RUNNING and actually doing the thing that I used to ''hate'' made me realize something in life. 

When we program ourselves that we hate doing some things or we will never do that think or we never did that thing,  then we are stuck and we choose to be stuck. Stuck in doing all these routines. I took the responsibility never to be burned out of boring routines. As I age, I still want to grow, I still want to learn new things, to embrace life, and to welcome each and every day with gratefulness on what life is still offering me.

Form a new habit today, discover a new side of yourself, challenge yourself to reach new heights and lastly do it now while you can. Life is too short and unpredictable, for all we know, we will be 40, or 50, or 60 and then we regret the things that we didn't do while we were younger. So do it now!

Afterall life is a never ending learning process.

Tidying up the dishes and cooking will be on my next blog ( Promise, I will write regularly now )