Forming new habits.....Cooking ( Again, a super dooper late post)

*Just like the other blog, this was written last November 2013 on our way home from Fuerteventura

When it comes to cooking, well it is not my forte and when I decided to do the things I hate doing, I really made it a point that I would include cooking.

As a wife and a mother and a good housekeeper, it is quite expected that one should be good at cooking, but I lack skills on this part, or maybe it was just an excuse or again my previous way of thinking.

My father cooks well and my mom bakes, I can say I look to my mom than my papcy.He is simply good at it, I love his cooking too, and appreciate mouth watering meals. I am my papcy's assistant and I am in charge of the chopping. Well, I love being his assistant and I love to chop. Maybe that's the reason why I love sharp knives and the chopping part.

Since Michael loves to cook, I always have the excuse, not to be good at it-- I live by the saying too cooks spoil the broth. He is also afraid of sharp knives, so I took the liberty to play as the chopping assistant again, that's why I have my own sharp knives at home. Michael uses his sort of an all around knife ( which looks like a bread knife  to me), while I use mine.

This time I decided to cook more than usual, which is part of my resolutions for myself.
 I love salads so I started with it.  I would always experiment with fruits, cheese and the green ones. For a start, I combined salads and cooked a little, since my daughter loves meat and my husband cannot live on veggies alone, I looked for veggies that I like and started cooking it with various spices.

Suprisingly my husband started praising my cooking. Humbly saying thank you and saying since I have more time now, why not cook more, which I did. While we were on vacation, we cooked mostly fishes, not too much art on that and not much progress on my cooking but hopefully if my tempo gets better, I hope to impress not only my husband but my papcy and mother in law as well.


Update: ( 8. May 2014 ) We are back on the island again and not one but two praised my cooking. One is my super critical daughter and my loving husband. She told her papa to play with her because mommy can cook better than him. I simply smiled and thanked her for the compliment. The next day after cooking lunch, my husband me a kiss and told me...''Baby, you can cook better than me.'' This recognition from him was indeed well-earned. Hopefully, I can impress my mother-in-law sometime soon. hihihi!


What did I earned from all of these resolutions, trying to do things that I hate the most, whether it's jogging, washing the dishes and cooking, as long as you are willing to try new things, no one can stop you. Your motivation comes from within, of course there will be external factors, but still you are fully in charge with it.

Life is full of opportunities, grab these opportunities now or we might never be given the chance to do it. I learned a lot in forming new habits, I am happier and I feel accomplished. We are never too old to try new things, like I always write, life is a continuous learning, we should never feel old trying new adventures, meeting new friends, taking healthy risks,  learning a new skill/hobby and forming new habits. Afterall, life gives us back more than we expected. 

What are you waiting for??? Go start a new one!

Forming new habits....Washing Dishes ( A super dooper late post )

*This was written way back in November 2013 on a flight going home from Fuerteventura to Hannover. A lot of things happened from that month until now, that I ended up just posting it now.


Destiny has found a way to test my patience with the dishes. I simply hated it, just like jogging (or so I thought). Way back in Manila, when my siblings see me washing the dishes, they say jokingly, ''Wow, milagro, si Ate naghuhugas ng pinggan, papamisa ako bukas'' (Wow, it's a miracle, our eldest sister is washing the dishes, I will request a special thanksgiving mass tomorrow). That's how I hated it, even with a dishwasher now, I always cheat on my husband, so he ends up tidying it up.

While we were on Fuerteventura ( November 2013), the apartment we rented had no dishwasher. Half surprised I asked my husband, didn't you check? Anyways, no way back now and since we just arrived and we didn't want argue on such petty things,  but normally we usually look for apartments with a washing machine and a dishwasher because  these things for me are always a must.

Oh well then, we have to live with it. We told ourselves we will take turns and we stick to it. My husband having senstive hands bought a dishwashing liquid that has balsam whatever to protect his skin. Good thing I brought with me an extra washing brush. We took turns, so whoever cooks, s/he is responsible cleaning the pans and casseroles immediately after cooking.

My husband taught me this trick 6 years ago, the motto is strike while the iron is hot or should I rephrase it, wash them while the pans are hot, in that way, the grease is easily washed away and easier to clean when you clean it immediately.
Another trick is to wash with warm water with a little soap on it. Drying the dishes is the last part which I shared with my husband every now and then. What I learned from washing up the dishes is the value of avoiding PROCRASTINATION.

Since the chore itself is not so glamourous, we tend to procrastinate it, but if you do the simple little dirty things right at that moment, then the cleaning up afterwards is way much more easier. As clumsy as I am, whenever my husband and I are in the kitchen, I end up hitting or hurting him or myself, our experience on the island helped us to complement each other, even in this simple task. If you ask me, if I hate washing the dishes, my answer is a definite YES, yet I enjoyed it for the last 3 weeks since it proved me this time again that we can do the things that we hate, if we try. By the way, the running is still getting along.

I haven't been running everyday but I am proud to say that I am faster now.

Forming new habits

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon turned psychologist wrote that it takes 21 days to form a new habit, on my personal opinion, apart from the 21 days, your attitude towards the habit-forming activities plays a crucial role in achieving a new habit.

6 weeks ago, I decided to make an effort, hmm... actually to try and do the things I hate. These were the following:

1. Jogging/Running
2. Tidying up the dishwasher
3. Cooking

Since I got plenty of time right now, I decided to challenge myself and set my mind to do things that I am not usually motivated to do.

Jogging/Running

I am quite a good swimmer, and when someone asks me, if I would like to run with her/him, I always make an excuse, because first and foremost, I hate it, second, my knees are weak ( always the safest excuse of all time--health issues ) and third it's too boring (for me at least).  I can't remember an instance in my adult life that I ran. Well, it was just a mindset, or should I say,  it WAS my mindset. I set my mind that I will not do it and I never did.

My first run was round about 30 minutes, I am guessing that was about 1.5km, mind you, it was so painful after 20 mins that my knees were shaking and my lungs were about to burst, then I just walked for the last 10 minutes. Well, the next day, I was struggling to walk properly, that I even told my good German friend, Susanne, that, it was like I lost my virginity (sorry for the expression). She replied by saying ''That painful?''
Oh well I guess first time!
The next day, I ran again just to shake the pain off. And then it got better and better and better. Two days ago I hit my first almost 8 kilometer run (7.94km) and I took me 1 hour and 9 mins. Oh I run like a turtle. Hihihi!

Of course there are advantages and disadvantages of Running, but let me concentrate on the positive side (at least for me, since I am new with the sport)

• It clears my mind and organize my day - Women always make a mental list of almost everything. From getting up to bringing kids to school, to washing the laundry etc.. While I am running, it clears my mind from the many lists of anxiety, worry, frustrations and fear of the unknown. It empties out all the mind clutter that I have. After clearing my mind, it is easier for me make a daily 'objective' list (women and lists) easier to organize and plan my day. I call it effective daily planning.
• It motivates me to wake me up earlier than usual - I think, when Sandman sprinkles his magical sand to send children to sleep, he left too much sand on my eyelids because I love to sleep ( I think most women do, (but of course there are exceptions) but since I am a morning runner, I make sure that I am finished running by 9:30. So I need to move my ass around to bring my daughter to Kindergarten, clean up a bit the kitchen and just go!
• It is sets my mind to finish a goal - Every run is different from another, either your best one or a lazy long run, it varies every time, especially right now, it is getting colder, then I need to wear handgloves and my fleece bonnet during my runs. Whether a good run or not, when you started it, you finish it. You just can't stop and say ''okay I'll walk back''. For me, the rule is simple - starting line and finish line. When you feel tired or your energy is getting low, you slow down but you don't stop. There are things in life that you need to slow down too right but stoping is not an option. Finishing what you started is indeed a fulfilment.
• Happy hormones kicks in - The cold November is sometimes depressing especially when there's no sunshine. Running keeps me warm and happy, since endorphins help a person feel good about her/himself. I love it when I am sweating, I feel like younger, all too sweaty from sports, I simply feel accomplished.
• It tones my lower body - Although I am not really a hardcore runner, I noticed my thighs and legs look better. Happy me!

 RUNNING and actually doing the thing that I used to ''hate'' made me realize something in life. 

When we program ourselves that we hate doing some things or we will never do that think or we never did that thing,  then we are stuck and we choose to be stuck. Stuck in doing all these routines. I took the responsibility never to be burned out of boring routines. As I age, I still want to grow, I still want to learn new things, to embrace life, and to welcome each and every day with gratefulness on what life is still offering me.

Form a new habit today, discover a new side of yourself, challenge yourself to reach new heights and lastly do it now while you can. Life is too short and unpredictable, for all we know, we will be 40, or 50, or 60 and then we regret the things that we didn't do while we were younger. So do it now!

Afterall life is a never ending learning process.

Tidying up the dishes and cooking will be on my next blog ( Promise, I will write regularly now )

Muriel Jonylyn C. Alimasa

Muriel Jonylyn C. Alimasa a.k.a Em, M, Emyat

Hobbies: Travelling, Discovering new things

Location: Grünwald, Munich, Germany

She is my sister currently here in Germany. Last August 14, 2013 she took a 10-hour train trip from the Munich to Sylt just to be with me and my family. She is working as an Aupair, which I think as an excuse since she is a ''Lakwatchera'' ( a term in Filipino which means one who travels and goes around A LOT ) and just wanted to travel around.  I capitalized the word A LOT, because this sister of mine had been Island-''Hopping-ing'' the Philippines. (Whew, 7, 107 islands --good luck elephant! ) See her albums in Facebook. Mind you I wouldn't count anymore. (*winks) Click the link Emyat's Travels

This lady loves to travel. I showed her a german book ( 101 Places to go in Germany ) and she was able to visit more places than I did, she even told me ''Mas madami pa akong napuntahan kaysa sayo'' ( I have been to some places more than you did) I jokingly told her: '' Hindi ka naman nagyayabang niyan ng lagay na yan? Partida, nasa Munich ka. (Bragging? You have that certain advantage since you are in Munich) And ended the conversation with: '' Were you able to go to Sylt 7 times already?'' And then we both laughed.

During these 10 lovely days, I was able to observe a new side of her:

1.  She is now more open, assertive in a way. Last year, I used to ask her before I get a response. Now, she knows what she wants. She shared me what direction she wanted to head to. She told me about someone who she cares a lot. Love! Love! I dont know that side too much, I don't usually ask about that. This time she told me about him. I think he is a good match for her. <3

2.  She handled Kathrin with flying colors. She was bold enough to restraint Kathrin from her tantrums yet gentle enough just like an Aunt. I was amazed that Kathrin love her despite Em would say no. Afterall, kids love that. She taught Kathrin Filipino words and actually had fun learning it. Kathrin speaks German, Em answers her in English and vice versa.

3. She initiates. Last year, I was telling my mom, that she is not doing anything.  This time I was relieve from some housework chores because of her. She ironed the clothes neatly--twice (mala Sundalong Plancha), cleaned their room and even nagged at me, for not picking up the strands of my hair in the bathroom. I wonder if I can make her my aupair for the next months! hahahaha!

4. I just realized that Muriel is a low-maintenance person. Not that she has no expectations, of course she has, but she is happy with the things we offered her-- food, time, entertainment. I love her for her simplicity.

5. She can take super pictures and is super patient editing them. Believe me, I am not bragging or boasting, but I am just horrible with cameras and pictures. She taught my husband patiently how we navigate our cameras correctly and took time to study it. Photography is indeed one of her strengths.


The 10 days passed, days we spent together well, they were indeed beautiful! Here are some of our adventure:

Westerland Beach, Sylt

Wenningstedt, Sylt

Uwe Dune, highes dune on Kampen, Sylt

Rote Kliff, Kampen, Sylt

Em with Kathrin swimming in 20° water

Em, Karsten (my brother-in-law), Kathrin & I

Morsum, Sylt

Morsumer Kliff

Along Morsumer Kliff

Still in Morsum

Rausch Chocolate Factory, Peine

Rausch Chocolate Factory, Peine

Ritz Appartment, Brunswick

Brunswick

Still in Brunswick

She left her heart daw to.... J

Schloss Arcade, Brunswick

Rathaus, BS

Eiermarkt, BS

Brunswick

Braunschweiger Dom

Hornum, Sylt 

Hornum, Sylt

Porsche Pavillion, Wolfsburg

Inside the Porche Pavillion

Waiting in vain

While waiting for the show

Kathrin & Tante Em em

<3

Still waiting....

Finally the show...I must admit that I was very happy that evening when we went to the show. Em & I were laughing out loud. I forgot the reasons why, but I am just grateful that she was with me to see & experience the water show!

I remembered what she told me after the show: ''Pinaghintay ka na, binasa ka pa!'' and then laughed.
(They let you wait for hours and then you get wet afterwards! or in German: 'Sie lassen uns lange warten, und dann wurdest du nassgemacht!)

Since I had Kathrin, I haven't seen any evening shows for the last five years. So it was good that Em was here and it was a day after my birthday, so I can  'demand' to finally see the water show.

6.  Lastly I realized that Muriel is all grown up, independent and confident and that I can finally let go.
Let go of my worries being an 'Ate', that she can handle things on her own and is accountable to her own decisions.  As the eldest sister, I was totally hesitant about the idea, she being an Aupair, I used to protect her, help her in any possible way that I can, guide her and all. I remembered she told me, when I asked her if she is sure about this. She assured me: '' Ate, I need this, I need to be on my own, I need to learn this.''

But seeing her now, a small voice is telling me, ''Hey, it is okay to let go, let go so she may learn to be on her own, let go so you may learn to trust her more, let go so you may trust her with her decisions and her instincts, let go so she may learn from her mistakes and make new ones and finally let go so she may see the world on her own.''

I will be forever be her sister, as she is to me, we will always be part of each other, and will always laugh on things no one knew except us,  but now is the time for you to write your own journey Muriel, so you will discover more of yourself, the way I discovered mine, when mommy let me go have my own journey.


Sabi nga naman ni Lao Tzu:

Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

I love you Em,my roommate in the camp, thank you for the well spent time. Next stop Spain & Prague?

Why I like buying stuff at small boutiques?

I would not lie, that I do internet shopping from time to time. I order used books from Amazon or buy rare items from Ebay and handmade items from Dawanda. Yet I love to go shopping at this store in Wolfsburg called WKS. It is located at Porschestraße and had been in Wolfsburg since 1954. Some say, the prices are higher compared to their counterparts. I also love going to the Toy Store called Spielkiste and the Stationary store called Großkopf, both in Fallersleben.

My family and I love to buy items from a small boutique. Here are my reasons why:

1.       SIZE. AMBIENCE. The toy department’s size of WKS is perfect for little kids. My daughter won’t get lost and she confidently goes from one rack to another without apprehension.  The ambience is warm, familiar yet professional. You feel welcome and not lost. You are greeted and neglected. 

2.      QUALIFIED AND COMPETENT PERSONNEL. When I go there at these stores, I always have this feeling that they serve by ‘the customer is always right’ or the ‘customer is the king/queen’ principle.  The personnel are very friendly, warm, will stop and make time for you and not so intrusive. Believe me here in Germany, there are big, too commercial stores that will make you leave them right away after you ask some personnel. You will have the feeling of ‘’Oh thank you for answering me and for your time’’ well the fact that it is their job to make me feel comfortable even I ask the silliest question. The big difference between a ‘’big, too commercial’’ store from ‘’small, familiar boutique’’ is that personnel make time for you and ask you, how s/he may help you and not  the other way around that you looking/asking for someone to help you with your dilemma. Same thing with Pharmacies who have pharmacists and not salespeople. You get out well informed and not confused.

3.       IT CREATE JOBS. Internship or Apprenticeship paves way to competence, proper qualifications and of course experience. Of course the prices are relatively slightly higher, but simply because these stores have budgets for new employees. One can always have a new employee or even replace it, but a good and the competent ones are smart enough to know where they would dedicate their time and efforts, where recognition, appreciation and further training or seminars are given. These factors reflect the values practiced in that organization. One time when we ask the sales person from WKS, which board game should I buy for my daughter, he gave us some suggestions, games they actually played--which is part of their training. They know the toys they sell, because they play the games itself.  A lot, I mean a lot of toy stores just sell-period.

4.       IT GIVES EQUAL ECONOMIC CHANCE TO SMALL/MEDIUM SIZE PLAYERS IN THE MARKET. The big players in the market have their advantages, longer time, more options etc..These facts are already given. But helping each is one of the keys to survival. Of course, in Business that is debatable. We are started taking small steps when we are still kids, don't we? In the town where I live--Fallersleben, the small shops are still therre--the people in Fallersleben patronize their shops, even loyal to them. Despite the big stores downtown, customers like buying in Fallersleben.  

Web 2.0 revolutionized the way people buy. The culture of buying changed drastically and more and more consumers buy their products online.  You can buy anything in the internet from A-Z, there are in fact, countless of providers in the E-market.  Of course, the free shipping, priority delivery within the following day and free return cost are very convenient.

Yet buying things personally is still my thing. Or maybe I am just an old soul. I love the technology but I also love the intangible part of it. 

Happy Reading! Happy Start of the week!

God calls us to speak words that heal, not hurt.

When I was younger I have always been harsh with my words. I have hurt many people along the way, tarnished relationships, and probably shoo away people.  I don’t care if people get hurt with my words as long as they have a piece of my mind and I tell the truth.

I came to the point that I saw myself as an arrogant person. Of course, motherhood made me more humane, made me a more sensitive person. It taught me to resolve conflicts with my daughter with the thought that she will sooner or later learn to become a righteous person. 10 years ago I made a choice, that I will use my words to give hope, to encourage, to make people happy and even express love to that person.

When I train people, I have to radiate positiveness, promote motivate and instill light in their hearts. My heart smiles when I hear/read them/notes thanking me, that my talk came at the right moment, or my email/SMS was encouraging. I have been doing that for a decade now. Like I wrote, I made that choice and been practicing it since then. I have always tried to be positive in everything, because there will always be a silver lining in every storm. Bad situations won't last anyways. I trained myself that happiness comes from within and nobody can take it away from you, unless you let it. 

Of course, there were times that I feel down, I feel demotivated and  I feel helpless. I would surround myself with positive people and talk to my mentors, who protect and guard the candles of happiness in my heart. 

I would talk to my mom, siblings, my trusted friends, business and spiritual mentors, I even asked them to pray for me and what I am undergoing to. For me, prayer is one of the intangible gifts a person can give me aside from their time. I also read books whenever I feel sad. I feel my emotions but I get over it too. Don't dwell on the setbacks of life. Bad things build one's character. 

I encourage you to be that someone, a member in your family to cheers everybody up, a friend in your circle of friends that make them laugh and encourage them when their spirits are down, a colleague in your offices that creates a happy working atmosphere, a leader that leads his team to reach excellence and be that person that when they are with you, they have a better perspective in their lives. 

The world is full of hate, pride, envy and indifference. Let us make our world a better place to live on. I know it sounds  ''too Ms. Congeniality''. But the tweeter/ facebook/ instragram world is fool of haters, and it was not the main reason why they were made, it was made to connect with friends, rekindle relationships and not make conflicts. 

We all have in us our own way of making people happy. It starts with your own happiness. Share it. Spread it. It comes back to you thousandfold after all it pays sometimes to be kind and nice. So be that someone!

Have nice weekend everyone.

picture courtesy of Google

Tough world, tough kids?

My husband and I both work. He works full-time, I have the luxury to work part-time. We live in Wolfsburg, which is the 6th largest city in Lower Saxony German State, is 230 kilometers from the capital Berlin and and is famous for Volkswagen. The city offers a wide range of activities for families and their kids. In 2009 the city was awarded as most family-friendly city award in Lower Saxony. It is a relatively a small town compared to the big cities but I learned to love it here already.

Since it is a family-friendly city, I availed/went to prenatal classes, active-play meet ups, winter meet-ups, and many field trips to Phaeno (science exploration center in Wolfsburg), Badeland, Autostadt etc. I am totally impressed and happy that I was able to socialize with other moms, chat with friends while the kids are playing,  Kathrin learning new kids and exerting her energies and at the end of the day--a dead-tired sleepy kid.

With all the range of activities supplied by the government and other entities from day-nannies, sports, music classes, play-groups, whole-day child care support in kindergarten particularly for single moms and other animations, which are very helpful. Now working and totally dependent from Kindergarten assistance offered in the morning, it made me think and reassess my priorities.

My daughter is still in her formative years and we believe that it is our responsibility to form her, to prepare her emotionally and to guide her. I am not saying that I am giving up some things, or purely stay home, so I can monitor her,  but it is a reminder for me to strive harder, to focus on shaping her values and proper upbringing. Even it if means to joggle my family, work, social life, and other activities. But mind you it is challenging and it is a skill!

Based from my own observation: You can correct me if I am wrong.

The government is being compelled to create more slots for the day care center, set up more whole-day kindergarten & grade-school. But what is the cost of these measures? Is the government offering too much because parents (sometimes I must admit) are often helpless? Or rather no interest? Are more and more parents unable to cope with their child's demand and over-strained?

One time we went sledging. Michael had a conversation with an old gentleman, my husband that it would be nice after sledging downhill if there is a lift available.. The old gentleman with his grandsons, simply told Michael ''Why? The kids should learn to push themselves to go uphill again''. WOW! That's what you call wisdom. It made my husband realized that children also needs to push themselves and sometimes learn the hard way in order to learn, to become independent, to be own their own, thus developing & molding their personalities and character. And the same thing with parents. It is also hard work.

Another thing: To some they think,  women doesn't belong to the corporate world, it is bad time management when they didn't meet deadlines, quotas & targets, but how about then the kids get sick, do you still call it bad time management? 

The society demands more mothers to work, by putting up more nursery slots for kids. Sometimes I ask myself, why? Instead of offering women flexibility in their working places like home offices & the like, they are encourage to work earlier after birth. Why are mothers encourage to work, encourage to have children, to increase birth rates, when the government cannot even offer them flexibility and let them be a mother to her child. The pressure of the society to achieve more, produce more & have more, is often one sided. More and more women are scared to loose their jobs, thus choosing career than having children.

I know the working world is tough, that is the same reason why we need more mothers to have flexibility in their jobs, so they can continue to teach their kids proper values & etiquette and give them proper upbringing, which are taught at home. Certain values should be taught by parents, preschool teachers complement and encourage these values. It is not their responsibility to shoulder. Teachers nowadays have the same dilemma. And when they reprimand school kids, they are being terrorized by the parents. It is alarming to think that the family values are slowly degrading.
Why do we have arrogant, proud, egoistic top managers in the corporate world? Well, values are taught at home not in MBA schools.


One last thing: We ought to make milestones with our children.
Well I stayed almost 4 years before I started to work again,  ( again I had this kind of luxury ) and I can perfectly understand single moms who need to work. For one, I enjoyed being there for Kathrin. Because I saw my daughter's development. I noted her improvements. It still makes me proud that I can answer at which age my daughter started doing this & doing that. These are precious moments and these are priceless. And call me selfish, but I cannot imagine myself asking a nursery carer, when did my child started running or talking or these little milestones, I ought to be the first one to know.

I for one am not a fan of whole day Kindergarten or Gradeschool. And believe me I am not a part of  the Mom-mafia. We drop her at KG at 8am and I pick her up at 13:20 in the afternoon. When Kathrin sees me coming, she would complain that I fetch her too early. My goodness kid! We need our playtime too! I know, I can never offer her the experience playing with other kids but still I am entitled to ask how did her day went.

It is indeed tiring with all the meet ups here and there, or bringing the kids to the gym or to the music school, dance lessons or ballet classes, sometimes I just want to sit down & read a book but that is another luxury. But isn't  it great to be there for your child/children when they create there own stories, their own milestones, that our children knows that we parents are there for them. This certain security that a child feels that ''my parents are always there for me'' is something that is important to their development and something that is inherent that they will carry it for the rest of their lives.

Yes it is a tough world but do we need to be tough on our kids too?