Why I like buying stuff at small boutiques?

I would not lie, that I do internet shopping from time to time. I order used books from Amazon or buy rare items from Ebay and handmade items from Dawanda. Yet I love to go shopping at this store in Wolfsburg called WKS. It is located at Porschestraße and had been in Wolfsburg since 1954. Some say, the prices are higher compared to their counterparts. I also love going to the Toy Store called Spielkiste and the Stationary store called Großkopf, both in Fallersleben.

My family and I love to buy items from a small boutique. Here are my reasons why:

1.       SIZE. AMBIENCE. The toy department’s size of WKS is perfect for little kids. My daughter won’t get lost and she confidently goes from one rack to another without apprehension.  The ambience is warm, familiar yet professional. You feel welcome and not lost. You are greeted and neglected. 

2.      QUALIFIED AND COMPETENT PERSONNEL. When I go there at these stores, I always have this feeling that they serve by ‘the customer is always right’ or the ‘customer is the king/queen’ principle.  The personnel are very friendly, warm, will stop and make time for you and not so intrusive. Believe me here in Germany, there are big, too commercial stores that will make you leave them right away after you ask some personnel. You will have the feeling of ‘’Oh thank you for answering me and for your time’’ well the fact that it is their job to make me feel comfortable even I ask the silliest question. The big difference between a ‘’big, too commercial’’ store from ‘’small, familiar boutique’’ is that personnel make time for you and ask you, how s/he may help you and not  the other way around that you looking/asking for someone to help you with your dilemma. Same thing with Pharmacies who have pharmacists and not salespeople. You get out well informed and not confused.

3.       IT CREATE JOBS. Internship or Apprenticeship paves way to competence, proper qualifications and of course experience. Of course the prices are relatively slightly higher, but simply because these stores have budgets for new employees. One can always have a new employee or even replace it, but a good and the competent ones are smart enough to know where they would dedicate their time and efforts, where recognition, appreciation and further training or seminars are given. These factors reflect the values practiced in that organization. One time when we ask the sales person from WKS, which board game should I buy for my daughter, he gave us some suggestions, games they actually played--which is part of their training. They know the toys they sell, because they play the games itself.  A lot, I mean a lot of toy stores just sell-period.

4.       IT GIVES EQUAL ECONOMIC CHANCE TO SMALL/MEDIUM SIZE PLAYERS IN THE MARKET. The big players in the market have their advantages, longer time, more options etc..These facts are already given. But helping each is one of the keys to survival. Of course, in Business that is debatable. We are started taking small steps when we are still kids, don't we? In the town where I live--Fallersleben, the small shops are still therre--the people in Fallersleben patronize their shops, even loyal to them. Despite the big stores downtown, customers like buying in Fallersleben.  

Web 2.0 revolutionized the way people buy. The culture of buying changed drastically and more and more consumers buy their products online.  You can buy anything in the internet from A-Z, there are in fact, countless of providers in the E-market.  Of course, the free shipping, priority delivery within the following day and free return cost are very convenient.

Yet buying things personally is still my thing. Or maybe I am just an old soul. I love the technology but I also love the intangible part of it. 

Happy Reading! Happy Start of the week!

God calls us to speak words that heal, not hurt.

When I was younger I have always been harsh with my words. I have hurt many people along the way, tarnished relationships, and probably shoo away people.  I don’t care if people get hurt with my words as long as they have a piece of my mind and I tell the truth.

I came to the point that I saw myself as an arrogant person. Of course, motherhood made me more humane, made me a more sensitive person. It taught me to resolve conflicts with my daughter with the thought that she will sooner or later learn to become a righteous person. 10 years ago I made a choice, that I will use my words to give hope, to encourage, to make people happy and even express love to that person.

When I train people, I have to radiate positiveness, promote motivate and instill light in their hearts. My heart smiles when I hear/read them/notes thanking me, that my talk came at the right moment, or my email/SMS was encouraging. I have been doing that for a decade now. Like I wrote, I made that choice and been practicing it since then. I have always tried to be positive in everything, because there will always be a silver lining in every storm. Bad situations won't last anyways. I trained myself that happiness comes from within and nobody can take it away from you, unless you let it. 

Of course, there were times that I feel down, I feel demotivated and  I feel helpless. I would surround myself with positive people and talk to my mentors, who protect and guard the candles of happiness in my heart. 

I would talk to my mom, siblings, my trusted friends, business and spiritual mentors, I even asked them to pray for me and what I am undergoing to. For me, prayer is one of the intangible gifts a person can give me aside from their time. I also read books whenever I feel sad. I feel my emotions but I get over it too. Don't dwell on the setbacks of life. Bad things build one's character. 

I encourage you to be that someone, a member in your family to cheers everybody up, a friend in your circle of friends that make them laugh and encourage them when their spirits are down, a colleague in your offices that creates a happy working atmosphere, a leader that leads his team to reach excellence and be that person that when they are with you, they have a better perspective in their lives. 

The world is full of hate, pride, envy and indifference. Let us make our world a better place to live on. I know it sounds  ''too Ms. Congeniality''. But the tweeter/ facebook/ instragram world is fool of haters, and it was not the main reason why they were made, it was made to connect with friends, rekindle relationships and not make conflicts. 

We all have in us our own way of making people happy. It starts with your own happiness. Share it. Spread it. It comes back to you thousandfold after all it pays sometimes to be kind and nice. So be that someone!

Have nice weekend everyone.

picture courtesy of Google

Tough world, tough kids?

My husband and I both work. He works full-time, I have the luxury to work part-time. We live in Wolfsburg, which is the 6th largest city in Lower Saxony German State, is 230 kilometers from the capital Berlin and and is famous for Volkswagen. The city offers a wide range of activities for families and their kids. In 2009 the city was awarded as most family-friendly city award in Lower Saxony. It is a relatively a small town compared to the big cities but I learned to love it here already.

Since it is a family-friendly city, I availed/went to prenatal classes, active-play meet ups, winter meet-ups, and many field trips to Phaeno (science exploration center in Wolfsburg), Badeland, Autostadt etc. I am totally impressed and happy that I was able to socialize with other moms, chat with friends while the kids are playing,  Kathrin learning new kids and exerting her energies and at the end of the day--a dead-tired sleepy kid.

With all the range of activities supplied by the government and other entities from day-nannies, sports, music classes, play-groups, whole-day child care support in kindergarten particularly for single moms and other animations, which are very helpful. Now working and totally dependent from Kindergarten assistance offered in the morning, it made me think and reassess my priorities.

My daughter is still in her formative years and we believe that it is our responsibility to form her, to prepare her emotionally and to guide her. I am not saying that I am giving up some things, or purely stay home, so I can monitor her,  but it is a reminder for me to strive harder, to focus on shaping her values and proper upbringing. Even it if means to joggle my family, work, social life, and other activities. But mind you it is challenging and it is a skill!

Based from my own observation: You can correct me if I am wrong.

The government is being compelled to create more slots for the day care center, set up more whole-day kindergarten & grade-school. But what is the cost of these measures? Is the government offering too much because parents (sometimes I must admit) are often helpless? Or rather no interest? Are more and more parents unable to cope with their child's demand and over-strained?

One time we went sledging. Michael had a conversation with an old gentleman, my husband that it would be nice after sledging downhill if there is a lift available.. The old gentleman with his grandsons, simply told Michael ''Why? The kids should learn to push themselves to go uphill again''. WOW! That's what you call wisdom. It made my husband realized that children also needs to push themselves and sometimes learn the hard way in order to learn, to become independent, to be own their own, thus developing & molding their personalities and character. And the same thing with parents. It is also hard work.

Another thing: To some they think,  women doesn't belong to the corporate world, it is bad time management when they didn't meet deadlines, quotas & targets, but how about then the kids get sick, do you still call it bad time management? 

The society demands more mothers to work, by putting up more nursery slots for kids. Sometimes I ask myself, why? Instead of offering women flexibility in their working places like home offices & the like, they are encourage to work earlier after birth. Why are mothers encourage to work, encourage to have children, to increase birth rates, when the government cannot even offer them flexibility and let them be a mother to her child. The pressure of the society to achieve more, produce more & have more, is often one sided. More and more women are scared to loose their jobs, thus choosing career than having children.

I know the working world is tough, that is the same reason why we need more mothers to have flexibility in their jobs, so they can continue to teach their kids proper values & etiquette and give them proper upbringing, which are taught at home. Certain values should be taught by parents, preschool teachers complement and encourage these values. It is not their responsibility to shoulder. Teachers nowadays have the same dilemma. And when they reprimand school kids, they are being terrorized by the parents. It is alarming to think that the family values are slowly degrading.
Why do we have arrogant, proud, egoistic top managers in the corporate world? Well, values are taught at home not in MBA schools.


One last thing: We ought to make milestones with our children.
Well I stayed almost 4 years before I started to work again,  ( again I had this kind of luxury ) and I can perfectly understand single moms who need to work. For one, I enjoyed being there for Kathrin. Because I saw my daughter's development. I noted her improvements. It still makes me proud that I can answer at which age my daughter started doing this & doing that. These are precious moments and these are priceless. And call me selfish, but I cannot imagine myself asking a nursery carer, when did my child started running or talking or these little milestones, I ought to be the first one to know.

I for one am not a fan of whole day Kindergarten or Gradeschool. And believe me I am not a part of  the Mom-mafia. We drop her at KG at 8am and I pick her up at 13:20 in the afternoon. When Kathrin sees me coming, she would complain that I fetch her too early. My goodness kid! We need our playtime too! I know, I can never offer her the experience playing with other kids but still I am entitled to ask how did her day went.

It is indeed tiring with all the meet ups here and there, or bringing the kids to the gym or to the music school, dance lessons or ballet classes, sometimes I just want to sit down & read a book but that is another luxury. But isn't  it great to be there for your child/children when they create there own stories, their own milestones, that our children knows that we parents are there for them. This certain security that a child feels that ''my parents are always there for me'' is something that is important to their development and something that is inherent that they will carry it for the rest of their lives.

Yes it is a tough world but do we need to be tough on our kids too?

Thank you 2012

The year 2012 has left me with good and sad memories.
Early in 2012, I wrote down 15 goals and 9 of them was accomplished. Yehey! The Lord has blessed me a lot by trusting in Him.

Here are my Highs & Lows last year:

JANUARY
Snow Galore. The beautiful mountains of Harz is lovely when covered with snow. We enjoyed our weekend trips filled with sledging, winterhikes, hot chocolates, snowman making and throwing snow balls and of course ice skating on a frozen lake.

FEBRUARY

Won the a hawaii trip courtesy of Bild.de. 

Click Link here.

MARCH
Fuerteventura Trip was our first plane trip as a family. We fell in love with this island. It is indeed Europe's version of Hawaii.

APRIL-MAY
Sisterbonding. My sister Muriel visited us here in Germany. It was indeed a lovely time with her.
We also lost at this time an angel in the family.


 


JUNE
High--Got a practikum slot and afterwards the job.
Low--my father in law's health is not so good.


JULY
High/s--Kathrin had her adeniods removed & tonsils reduced. The surgery didn't had any complications and she recovered in no time. I started working again. Joggling work & Kathrin's KG 3-week break.
Low--My beloved father-in-law lost his battle to cancer. Two days before Kathrin had her surgery. Saw my husband hurting. He is a papa's kid. (See previous blog)

AUGUST
My mother-in-law had a hip operation and we had to ran errands for her. It was a taxing month for all of us.
Adjustments in work and in Kindergarten.

SEPTEMBER
Marathon Event at work. Preparations for Hawaii.

SEMPTEMBER-OCTOBER 
We deserve a break. Not only we got to see a Paradise, we belong to a beautiful family there. So there is always a reason to go back.

NOVEMBER

A busy month in the office for me & my husband. 

Found out that my good christian boss died of leukemia.

He is the same age as I am and recently his wife had their first baby. Life will never be fair.

DECEMBER

Sleepfestival in Kindergarten--Kathrin's 1st Overnight.

6th Wedding Anniversary

Replaced our 5 year old car

Good news from Hawaii. We have been praying for Tata Eddie's health & for his family since we got back from Hawaii.

Mama Dioning's recovery.

When I looked back at the previous year. I can only be grateful to the Lord for the wonderful blessing of life, of good health, of continued happiness and unconditional love and unending blessings. Let us not forget the money may buy us material stuff but it can never buy us peace of mind, a sound health, serenity of heart and profound joy that can only be found in Christ.

I may have lost some loved ones this year and it will never be the same without them, but deep in my heart I know that even if  they didn't celebrated Christmas and New year not with us, they celebrated it with someone, who is the reason for Christmas--Jesus Christ. 

Thank you 2012. Welcome 2013.

Our Mama Dioning

I really don't know why I am writing this, because I know she won't be able to read it. I don't even know if she still remembers me as one of her grandchildren. I hope so. I truly hope so. You see, she has dementia.  She is my grandmother, 78 years old, a native of Cabucgayan, Leyte. And I love her with all my heart.  Her name is Dionisia Mendoza Luna Calomot.   According to Wikipedia:

Dementia is a serious loss of global cognitive ability in a previously unimpaired person, beyond what might be expected from normal ageing. Although dementia is far more common in the geriatric population, it can occur before the age of 65, in which case it is termed "early onset dementia."

It started when she was 64. That time I was living with her. Despite being with her during my graduation rites. She kept asking me, when will I graduate from College. Even when I was working already, and will take her out for dinner,  she will ask   me that question. New information, events & other stuff after the age 64, don't go to her ''memory box'' at all. Before I went to Germany, I said my goodbyes and told her I'm going to get married here, she told me, that's good and that her daughters are also here and she had been here before. She gave me her blessing and I kissed her goodbye.

When I came home in 2010, she completely didn't recognize me. And then I told her ''I am Meme (my nickname) and she looked at me & said 'Meme, you are here' then asked me the same old question: ''When will you graduate from College?''

Nevertheless, despite the distance, she would always be in my thoughts. Remembering all the good memories we had with her. We technically grew up with her. We used to lived with her during our primary years. Her house is not so far from hers, so we visit her almost every week. Before going home, we would always drop by at her house, I used to make my homeworks at her house, let her help me with my sewing projects, go to Simbang-gabi masses, take her out for dinner when I started working, my brother & I were fortunate to come with her visit her hometown at Leyte, I remember during New Year's eve, we would jump with her,she would throw coins afterwards,  so that the grandchildren will happily scramble for those coins. Her skeptic look, when I asked her, if we can have her house as a Christmas Party venue with my friends. She would stay in her room, but would check us from time to time. And after every night out with my girlfriends, she will wake us up at 6.30 in the the morning, and blame us that we should be home earlier, her  'Paksiw'(Fish cooked with vinegar & ginger)  and tons of wonderful memories.

These are some of the many memories that I have here inside my heart. Memories that will be surely be cherished and kept, memories that I am hoping she would somehow remember. 

Mama Dioning, thank you for everything, I might not be able to say that to you personally, but like every single time before you sleep on your bed, you know that I never fail to kiss you under your mosquito net and say Goodnight Mama Dioning, I love you. 

Pinay Integration Stories

This time, I decided to interview someone that I look up to. Of course I have so many role models in life, but this person is for me an epitome of a successful integration here in Germany. I seldom see her, but everytime I get to see her on few Pinay parties, she never fail to make everyone laugh. Yes she is a clown, she loves to laugh out loud and to make people laugh. She is a real stand out. But despite this funny facade, during the phone interview(which lasted for 2 hours) I was able to see a beautiful, strong-willed, loving and intelligent woman. My instincts told me that I met my match!

Her name is Ms. Salome Langer, 47, widowed, living in Germany for 26 years, Bachelor's degree in Business Management,  presently working in a furniture shop in Wolfsburg and has one beautiful, smart,  Tagalog-speaking daughter, Stefanie.

I asked her if she learned the language prior going to Germany. Yes, since she worked at the British Embassy in Switzerland, and in Switzerland German is widely used apart from English. She learned the language there at Inlingua School. (Wow Sosyal--Volkshochschule lang ako!) Inlingua is a private language institution where you pay a lot for the courses, whereas mine was subsidized through the adult education center.

Moving to my next question set of questions:

How difficult were the first few years?

It was hard. Her mother-in-law did not like her from the start. When her late husband told his mother that he married someone from Switzerland, his mother expected a Caucasian woman, and when Salome came, to her mother-in-law's astonishment, she was Asian. Her in-law was indifferent for quite some time. But this did not discouraged her, after all her husband adored & loved her. (ang haba ng hair!--''your hair is long'' an expression in Tagalog which means Enviable,  in German--beneidenswert) When she got pregnant with Stef, her in-law changed how she treated Salome, a 180° turn around.

What were your initial struggles?

Financial Independence -earning her own money just like she did while she still working. She was tempted apply for cleaning job at that time,  it is a decent job after all. Luckily, she saw a job ad, applied for it, gave her 101% during the interview, got a call after a week that she got the job, shouted out loud ''THANK YOU'',  impressed her superiors, won her colleagues & the rest is history.

Boredom - she stayed home for 7 years. Salome waited until Stefanie was ready to go to school. I guess most mothers can relate to this. Boredom could lead to loneliness and depression.

How did you joggle your family, having a 'social life' when it permits, your job, and integrating in a new environment?

6 Things:
1. Discipline
Salome is well-disciplined to do what needs to be done, she made sure that what needs to be done, should be done today and not tomorrow. Having a goal helped her to discipline herself to do it correctly & permamently. It worked.

2. New Mindset 
She thought that her Family is not in the Philippines anymore, instead here in Germany. Of course, she will never forget her roots, but integration was rapid with that kind of mindset. True enough.

3. Independence
Confidence will increase when you do things independently. Her partner was very supportive yet Salome was independent to make her own choices and do it on her own. When you meet this lovely person, her confidence level is 300%!

4. Cooperation
No man is an island. When you are working, you need this alot. Don't be such a bitch. Only by cooperating you get to win the respect of people around you, even your colleagues.

5. She made a choice.
6. Live with it.

Numbers 5 & 6 are intertwined. Since she made the choice to marry a German, then she has to live with that choice from start to finish. Tough lass! Tama ka jan Tita! (You are absolutely correct Tita)


Does working in DE made your integration easier?

Absolutely. Through work, you interact with different types of people, you learn how to study their characters, and you learn to blend in. Some Pinays had the impression that she is not Pinay anymore, contrary to those comments, like she said previously, her family is here in DE, not in PH. So try to live the life here, the way it is, embracing the culture, the way of life, the traditions and other factors that goes with it.

What was your turning point, that you decided to finally work?

She wanted to have a car. That was her goal.
When Stefanie was still in Kindergarten, there were fieldtrips and all moms in the KG have their own cars, when she tried to ask them, if they can bring them with, they all said no. She was rejected and from then on,  she promised herself that she will buy her own car from her own earnings. And she did.

Where did you drew your strength facing the challenges living away from your family in PH?

Aside from her husband's unconditional love which was comforting. She kept thinking...no pain, no gain. In German: Ohne Fleiß, kein Preis. If you won't persevere, you'll end up with nothing. Diligence together with discipline paved way to better opportunities.

And of course, faith in God, that HE will guide and give you the desires of your heart.


How important are support groups here in DE? Regardless whether they are German groups or Pinay groups.

They are indeed very important, because they bring enlightenment during confusing times and they also bring out the best in you, when you try to help them with some matters that they have no idea how to deal with.
Salome has one Pinay confidant and a German bestfriend and good set of friends.

One of very few moments I get to see Tita Salome.

Finally, your message to Pinays who want a successful Integration in DE.

1. Don't give up.
2. Try to learn, speak, read and  write the language.
3. Communicate with the Germans--they don't bite.
4. Have faith.


Thank you Tita Salome for the witty, funny & enlightening interview.


After the interview, we found out we had a lot of things in common.
1. Books.
2. Disliking S*** People
3. Mother-in-law difficulties
4. A common person, we both love & trust. 

Claiming the promises in the Bible

When I first came here, my first thought was... I need to find a job. My husband, Michael was telling me before, master the language first. Easy for a native german to say that, he grew up here, he studied law. Of course German was easy for him. HELLO!!! Nevertheless, I quickly learned the language because of a lot of factors. See my previous blog. But like every beginning, it was not easy.

When I saw that Kathrin has adjusted pretty well in Kindergarten, I started to feel the need to work again. After all, I just can't stay home and wait for her. Of course, being full time mom, it was not easy. The decision to work again was my own. I needed it. I've worked in Manila, why not work again here, two big questions are: what kind of work? Sales & Marketing? Training? Sales? And is my German good enough in the corporate world? I sure hope so ( with fingers crossed including my toes!)

I don't want to study in a University again because of my family priorities, I  jotted down my priorities & assessed what do I wanted to do, which suits my current lifestyle a.k.a family routine:

*I figured out that I needed a part-time job in the morning, 4 hours maximum. Normal working days--Monday to Friday, so there will be no conflict with Michael's working schedule, a job that needs me to be creative, a job that is not boring, a job that allows me to work at home, when Kathrin is ill, a job that will help me improve my Business German in terms of correspondence & telephone skills, a job where I can also speak English, when I am lost with words,  a CEO who believes in God & colleagues that are not bitchy and of course a job that pays reasonably, location should be well accessible & an understanding CEO, who will allow me to take a month of vacation without even earning my vacation days yet (we were Hawaii-bound) blah..blah..blah ( Am I asking too much? Merril dream on! )

So I started to update my CV in English and then in German and asked Michael to make some improvements. I sent out online applications and much to my disappointment, I got online rejections. This made me re-think the next steps to be done. I went afterwards to the city's Job center and ask for my options. My husband was skeptic, when I decided to go to the job center. I told him, I wanted to know if there are opportunities for me out there. I explained my situation to the job adviser and she told me, studying again doesn't raise your chances at all, play with your strengths, assured me that they will support me, and afterwards told me the conditions if I decided to be called 'officially looking for a job'. She referred me to her colleague, who looked for possible job openings that fits my working experience.

After 3 days, I got an email from the Job center, asking me if I would like to apply in an IT company, which was looking for a Social Media Marketing Person. Okay, I told myself, I have nothing to loose. I got all these rejections anyways, then might as well try my luck. I sent my CV online & got a call the following day asking for an interview. After passing the initial interview, I have to be back for a  final interview with the CEO. But the day before my final interview, I got a flu, a super bad headache, runny nose, terrible cough & chills. I called a good acquaintance from my Thursday English-bible study group to pray for me because I am so ill & that I would have my final interview the following day. She told me, whatever I get the job or not, learn from it and they will pray for me. I was so worried, that I have to cancel the interview because of my terrible headache. I took all my 'mommy-supplements' and slept at 8pm.

I was up at 3am & I could not sleep anymore. I also realized my health drastically improved. No more chills, no headache, no coughing & no runny nose. Since Michael slept on the couch ( to avoid infecting him), I prayed, cried, thanked the Lord, & claimed 2 verses from the Bible:

Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

and Psalm 20:4 He will give you your heart's desire and carry out all you plans. 

I laid out my plans (see * above) And yes! God gave me every desire of my heart.

Some may react---NO WAY MERRIL!

YES WAY! BECAUSE NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH THE LORD.

Read the Bible, claim the promises. There are so much in store for all of us. Happy reading.